6/9/2002

Let's pray,

Father we stand in awe of you this morning. We stand in thanksgiving to you this morning. Father I know that as we anticipate a time of baptism this evening we have a number of people who are preparing for baptism and a number of brand new Christians within the last few months and are ready to stand in testimony to the fact that they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior. They are following you, so Father I thank you for that. I thank you for the wonderful salvation you provide in us and to us Father through your Son, Jesus Christ. I thank you that we can have this awesome relationship with you and not with a God who is far out there in the
universe but somebody, a God who is present with us and the Holy Spirit who is present within us. Father we thank you so much for those wonderful truths that you have given to us in Jesus Christ. We thank you and praise you in Jesus Name, Amen.

Turn to Matthew 18, if you would. We read this parable last week, I am not going to read the whole thing again for you, we are going to describe it for you and it will refresh your memory. For those of you who weren't here last week and didn't get to read through the whole thing with us, you can read it at your leisure or leasure as some people say. By the way I heard an advertisement on the radio, and a lady on there said something about
strenth instead of strength and I thought she must have some Pennsylvania background. Cause that is how Bishop Salheimer, Bishop Miller, all the ones from Pennsylvania say strength, they forget the g and say strenth. So, if you want to read it later on you can read it at your leasure or leisure, which every you want. And you may eat potatoes or patotoes, tomatoes or tomataes. I don't know what you eat but whatever you like read it later
on.

The parable is about the King who had a servant who owed him so much money he couldn't repay, the servant ask him to forgive him, actually said he would give him time to repay, the King forgave the debt and the servant then went out and found another servant who owed him a few dollars and the fellow ask for time to repay and he said, 'No' and in fact put him in prison until he should repay his debt. The King said to that first servant, "Well, if you can't forgive others there little debt when I forgave you such a great debt, then I can't forgive yours and so therefore he sent him to the torturers, it says until he should repay every last cent. Which of course
would be forever because he could never repay that debt. Of course the story tells this very clearly that we have such great debt against God that when he forgives us our sin that we should be able to turn around and forgive our neighbors of their offenses against us. So we talked about forgiveness a little bit last week, we are going to talk about it again today. A few other questions that we didn't address last week. In fact, by the way, I have more questions for next week. So you can count on hearing a little bit more of this. For some reason this is a subject that is very near and dear to everyone of our hearts.

Just to review a little bit. Forgiveness is used a number of different terms in the Old Testament and New Testament. There are a number of different terms that the Hebrews used and the Greeks used for describing forgiveness. Many of there terms are descriptive in nature and so when we put the descriptive terms together we begin to get a picture of what forgiveness is. Number one, forgiveness to carry. To bear the sin of another, to carry it, to bear it for them. Number two forgiveness means to pardon, to excuse, to no longer count against them. Number three it means to cover over, as if with pitch, and to leave it alone and never uncover it again. Forgiveness also means to put down, to ignore and to never even turn to look at it again. Means to act as if it never existed, ever. And then finally, the last of the definitions that we looked at is to treat the person who has offended you with grace. Treat them graciously, as a forgiven person. So when we look at the idea of forgiveness it is like a person gives you something to carry that wasn't yours and you agreed to carry it. And then you put it down. In fact if you were here last week you will have became somewhat familiar with my (backpack). How many of you thought about this all week? Ok, neither did I, neither did I, because it was hidden. In fact, I had to go check to make sure it was there this morning, I thought maybe somebody cleaned the place and took care of it. Suppose somebody gives this to me and says, 'Will you carry this?' and I say, 'Sure.' Well that would be silly of me unless I knew why I was carrying it. Sin is like that, offense is like that. When a person offends me it is like they give me something that is not mine, it is theirs. It is their sin, not mine, and so therefore I am still going to carry it around for them. So forgiveness means, I put it away, and I hide it away, and I cover it over, and I don't think about it anymore. Why would I want to carry something that belongs to somebody else? If I accept it and 
carry it as my own then I am the one who carries the burden. They are the ones who tend to go off, in a sense scott free. Even though that is not exactly the case. Suppose you carry it around long enough, you begin to be tired of it. You begin to chafe, the straps begin to wear on your shoulders and the weight kind of hurts your back. Pretty soon you become upset with the person who gave it to you even more because now you are carrying it longer and longer and it is hurting your back. Spiritually, that is called bitterness. If we carry unforgiveness long enough, it becomes bitterness. The danger is that if we learn that habit we also begin to get the martyr complex. We carry burdens of other people. If they offend us, we don't forgive them either, so pretty soon we are carrying not just one pack of sin for them, we are carrying more and more of them. So pretty soon we are overburdened 
with things that don't belong to us. And so we become bitter because we hate the fact that they have offended us, and we are carrying the pain of it around. Well forgiveness is to accept the pain of it, then get rid of it. You don't
have to carry it around. That is one of the words for forgiveness. It means to put it aside, to put it down, to hide it away, not even to think about it again. And then to treat the person with grace.

Now let me ask you some questions, some very specific questions here. One, who do we have to forgive? Who do we have to forgive? We have to forgive everybody who has ever offended us. It is easy, everybody. Ok, now has your Dad offended you? Probably. Has your Mom offended you, probably. If you have sisters, I have four sisters, they are all offensive. Ok, I have one brother, he is a wonderful saint. Ok and if you have brothers or sisters they have offended you I can guarantee it at some point in life. If you have neighbors, they have offended you, if you have a friend, they have offended you. If you have teachers, if you have fellow students or fellow co-workers, they have all offended you in some way. Usually, it is the ones who are closest to us who have the most opportunity, and usually it is within the home that we get offended the most. And there are other people are outside who are just enemies, they just don't like us and so they do things to hurt us. What I have discovered is if Satan wins in a person so that they have to do something really offensive, then Satin is ahead one to nothing. If I become offended and I don't forgive, Satan wins two to nothing. Why would I let him win? So whom do I forgive, I forgive everybody. Forgiveness frees me from carrying the burden of their offense. Remember there are two parts to their offense. One is the sin against God. If a person lies they lie against
God, right. Because he says, 'Thou shalt not lie, or bear false witness. He says don't lie. If they steal they break God's commandment not to steal. 

If they sin in any way it offends God's character. So the sin is against God, the result of their sin becomes an offense against me, if it affects me. If they steal from me it is offensive to me because they took my things. If somebody wrecks my toys, I am upset because they broke my things. Well the fact that they did it offends God also. Because they have probably broke one of His commandments or offended His character in some way, His standard. But the affect upon me is the offense that I have to forgive. I can't forgive their sin as God does, but I can forgive the offense against me. And so forgiveness protects me from their sin. It means I don't have to carry around the backpack of their sin. I can put it down, hide it away, I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Question number two - Doesn't forgiveness let them go scott-free? Doesn't it, in a sense, actually approve their sin? Since nothing is done about it and they get away without getting any punishment, without any consequence, doesn't forgiveness mean that I approve their sin? It is like if nothing is done to punish a person, pretty soon they feel more free to sin. In fact that is a very Biblical principal in Ecclesiastes, that if punishment does not come quickly, the fool is given wholly to commit more sin. In Proverbs it says it is not harsh enough, then a person fells free to sin. So we think that if we forgive them, they get to do it some more. Because there is no reason for them not to, and that is not right. Well, don't think that way, ok. Because for one thing it is not my responsibility to make them pay. It is not your responsibility to make them pay. It is God's. God says in Romans 12 and back in the Book of Proverbs he says, 'Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord, I will repay, but if your enemy is hungry give 
him food, if he is thirty give them a drink and he says it is my job to deal with their sin. You let them go for the offense they have committed against you and I will take care of the sin. It is interesting that in the Book of Proverbs, Chapter 24:17-18, The surest way for God to repay them for their sin is for you to forgive them. It says, 'Do not be joyful or gleeful when your enemy stumbles otherwise God will be angry on account of you and he will take his hand of punishment off them. So we need to let go of the sin altogether, which gives room for God to deal with their sin. The principle is that if we want God to do something about the sin part of it, then we forgive them. That leaves Him free to do it. We don't have to carry that burden around. 

But isn't it proper for us to make them pay? Isn't it good for them to do something to make up for the sin? It is actually bad to do that! In Hebrews Chapter 10, Verse 3 and following it describes the Old Testament sacrifices. Of the Old Testament sacrifices it says this, The sacrificing of bulls and lambs and things like that never actually atone perfectly for sin. In fact the yearly sacrifices were a reminder of sin. And so sacrifice becomes a reminder of sin. Suppose I sat to the person who has offended me, 'It has been a great sin that you have done, you have offended me deeply and so from now on I want you to come over every week and take some of the weight out of that pack for me. Suppose there are a thousand pounds, I am pretty strong. Hah!

It's while, ok, before he gets all the weight taken out. So every week he comes along and says let me take some more of the weight off your shoulders, and so he takes out ten ounces and walks away. Is that going to help? No, every time he comes and says let me take some of the weight out it reminds me how much he hurt me. It becomes a reminder of the offense, of the sin. It doesn't cleanse it, it doesn't take it away really, it just becomes a reminder. So do I want to be reminded every week of this guy's sin against me? No, I am still carrying it around. Do you think he'll ever remove enough ten ounces? No, he won't, will he. Because there is a reminder all the time. In fact it is interesting, I was thinking about this. That there are many people who have sued other people just to gain some satisfaction, to even the score, something like that. And they get money for it. Do you think that really cleanses the sin, the offense. How could it? The principal in the Bible is that as they spend that money, it is going to be a continual reminder of the problem. It is not going to fix the problem, it is going to become as continual reminder. That is why, in 1 Corinthians, 4 and 5, where Paul talks about lawsuits among people in the church, he says, 'Why not rather be wronged, instead you defraud, you hurt each other by suing each other'? So it doesn't end the sin, it multiplies the sin. We are such a litigious society! A few years ago I met a man who helped develop a system called Christian Conciliation Service. He said that in the City of Phoenix, where he was from, in one year they figured out that about $144 million dollars of cost had resulted from Christians suing other Christians. In one year in one city. Paul would say why don't you just rather be wronged? It doesn't end the sin, it continues it, multiplies the sin when we think people are going to pay and make it up. So we don't want to make them pay. That is God's worry. He can deal with that. He can bring consequences, He can bring things into their life that help them understand that they had done wrong. We forgive the offense, we forgive the offense. 

We also find out that if we begin to wish that they would pay, we fall into another area of condemnation from God. In James Chapter 4 it says, 'Watch out you who condemn another person. Who are you to condemn them? There is only law giver and judge who is able to save and destroy." And that is God, of course. And so what we do is this, we will say that we forgive them and then we will tell other people how much they hurt me. That is not forgiveness. Because what we are doing is making them pay by destroying their reputation in other people's eyes. That is why one of the words for forgiveness means to put it aside, out of sight, never bring it up again,
> never look at it again, treat it as if it never occurred. Forgiveness means it is gone. We don't talk about it anymore, we don't use it as a bludgeon anymore, we don't use it as a wedge anymore, we don't use it to manipulate them and remind them of their offense. If we have forgiven we don't bring it up again. Why in the world would be want to pick up something that is covered with pitch. We ignore it, we leave it alone, we didn't think about it again if we can help it. 

One more problem of trying to make someone pay for their offense is that we add to our offenses. Because you see, if I make them pay for what they did to me, I am selfishly trying to even the score. And that begins to become me doing the offending. I now am doing something that is unrelated to the crime, trying to make them pay. And so pretty soon I am the one who is now adding to their offense with my own offenses. So, let's just forgive them. Ok, we don't have to carry it around. We can hide it away, it can be gone. We don't have to bring it up again and we can treat them with honor.

Now along with that statement is a question. Do I need to tell somebody that I forgave them? Do you need to tell somebody that you forgave them? Some of you yah and some say no because that is what we think, right? In fact, a good answer to this one is, it depends. It is one of my favorite answers in fact. It depends. If you have somebody who is really offended you deeply, do you forgive them and then go tell them, call them on the phone and say, 'I want you to just understand that I have forgiven you for this great offense'. It might be a really good thing. It might not be a good thing. I think there are four things we need to have in place before we call a person or tell a person we forgive them. First, do they know that you were offended? Cause sometimes we offend people and don't even know it. I do. That is one of the sports that I am best at, offending people without even knowing it. Every once in awhile I'll find out from somebody that really hurt someone's feelings when I said this or did this or didn't do this. So, suppose that person came to me and said, 'I have forgiven you for being such a rotten person'. What are we talking about here? I don't remember hurting you. I don't remember saying anything. So, does a person even know that you are offended? 

Second, do they acknowledge their part in the offense? Do they acknowledge that what they did actually caused your pain? If neither one of those is true, then you would be accusing them of something they didn't even know about or they didn't think was their responsibility. Third, do they accept responsibility for the fact that what they did was the cause of your pain, and accept that personally? And finally, do they have some sense of repentance, sorrow, saying I am sorry that I hurt you? If those are not all true, I would keep my mouth shut. Because you may be informing a person that you think they are a bum when they don't think they are and don't know why you think so. Then you describe it and they say, 'Boy I don't remember that at all.' So, you are saying I am such a great sinner but I can't remember what the conversation was about. And besides what I said wasn't about you anyway. Sometimes we don't have the facts straight. That is why God is the best one to do the judging; the best one deal with the person who sins. So, if you don't have all four of those in place, don't tell a person that you forgave them. But if they come to you and say, 'I realize what I have done, and if they are truly sorrowful then you say, 'I forgive you'. Because that can help repair the relationship.

But why would we tell a person who doesn't know or who doesn't accept responsibility. By the way, some people hurt people on purpose. In fact, remember the parable we read when Peter asked, 'How many times shall I forgive my brother who offends me?' . The word offend, means an offense that was planned to hurt you. Means they planned on hurting you with this thing. They hurt you. And so Jesus said you forgive them seventy times seven. So the amount of the offense is not the issue here either, but the size of the offense. And so we forgive them because it protects us. We tell them we forgave them when it restores the relationship. If there is no 
possibility of restoring the relationship, especially if they don't even know about it, don't accept responsibility and could care less if you were hurt, they could care less if you forgave them. 

What would be your motive for telling somebody that you forgave them? There is one good point, in my mind at least, is to restore the relationship. Any other motive is just to share the burden so you don't have to carry it alone, or to in a sense another way of making them pay. So now they know how much they hurt me and they also know how much nicer a person I am because I forgave them. Because they are so bad because they hurt me. Ok, we have to be careful of our own motives. But if we forgive completely it is gone, and let God help you understand if you need to tell them or not.

Another question, how important to God is our forgiveness of another person? How important to God is our forgiveness. It protects us, we know that. Means I don't have to carry around the burden any longer. I don't have to carry around the backpack full of their sin. I learned the ability to forgive by forgiving. By the way, most people in their lives have one really big thing to forgive. At least one, but usually people can point at one thing or one body of things that really, really hurt. Or maybe one person who has done a number of things. If you look at our own life you can probably look at a point in time or a particular sin or a particular person who is the one you need to forgive. And when you learn to forgive that one the rest of them are not so hard. So bring in mind that person, or that event, or that offense or whatever it is. Say ok if I can win over this one, I have learned to win.

Speaking of winning, the Clare Baseball team won a couple of times yesterday and they are going to keep on going, hopefully all the way to State Championship. That would be nice. Clare has a winning tradition right now. And that is good, but some teams who have a losing tradition have to learn how to win. Even though they have the talent, if they don't know how to win they can't keep winning. And so we need to learn how to win over one big offense, or one person who has offended us deeply. Once we win the battle of how to forgive, we can forgive more. 

The reason it is so important to God is this. In Matthew 5 he says, 'If you are at the altar and there remember that somebody has something against you, you go and be reconciled to your brother then come and present your offering.' So our relationship with God is affected by our unforgiveness by our reconciliation with our neighbor, with our friend, with our family member, who ever it might be. He says, I don't care about your offerings that you put on the platform or in the offering plate, or the things you do for me. I care less about those than I do about your relationship with your friends and neighbors and countrymen, ok. He says I would much rather have you be reconciled then bring your offering because it means something then. If you bring an offering you may just be trying to do something good to make up for the fact that you are not forgiving him. Forgiveness is really, really important to God. 

Iin 2 Corinthians Chapter 5, he calls us the ambassadors for reconciliation. He says you are our ambassadors of reconciliation. Ambassador means you represent to the world who God is, and what He is like.. If you are an ambassador to a foreign country you are the ambassador for our country. People look at you and say oh that is what an American is. That is what a person from America looks like, and acts like, and how they deal with things. We are ambassador's for Christ. He came to reconcile us to God, we reconciled each other to each other, and draw the picture of what reconciliation is all about. If we can't forgive our neighbor, our friend, our family member how is anybody else going to see how Christians forgive. It affects the message of God as it goes forth because most people see Christ in Christians. If they see Christians who are unforgiving the natural assumption is that the Christ they serve is unforgiving also, even though we try to tell them differently, they look at us and go, wait a minute here, you have been forgiven such great sin and you can't forgive your neighbor. How does the work of God work in your life then? Why would I want that if you can't even do that? If there is no power there for you, there is no power there for them. And so in 2 Corinthians we are called the ministers of reconciliation, the ambassadors for reconciliation. So therefore we show the world how to forgive. If we are not forgiving we don't show them anything that they don't have. So they see in us what they need to see. They see in us what they do see, sometimes they don't see what they need to see.

So forgiveness means we accept the burden because we do have to accept the fact that we hurt. In fact if you look in the parable the King accepted the burden of the debt of the money that the guy spent. Ok, the servant spent the ten thousand talents, he spent them. The King was out that money and he accepted that. The pain of sin against us, the offense against us, is real. By the way forgiveness I don't want to treat lightly because forgiveness is probably one of the most difficult things you will ever do in your whole life. Because the offense hurts that bad sometimes. And so forgiveness is not the easiest, why do you think it caused Christ his life? To provide forgiveness for all of us. That is what it cost. We accept the debt of the other person's sin. We accept the debt and then we lay it down. In fact Rick Fomley said I missed an important picture last week, where did I put the backpack down? Where is the backpack now? At the foot of the cross, isn't it. At the foot of the cross, we put the sins of our own, and the offenses of others, and Jesus paid for them all. He paid for the sin the person committed, that we were offended by, but he also forgave the sin we commit that offends somebody else. So he says, if you have been forgiven such great things, forgive the next person over. Jesus has provided forgiveness if we don't show forgiveness we don't show Christ. This is one of the most difficult areas that anybody has in life. If we can show them how to win, they can learn how to win through us and through Christ.

Lets pray,

Father we ask that you would help us to win in this battle because it is a great battle. We have been offended, we have been offended deeply by people. They say things that hurt our feelings, they do things that do. But Father help us to be protected from taking offense that really wasn't intended. Help us to be careful that we love the person and give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe we heard it wrong or maybe we misunderstood them or maybe they really didn't mean it maybe they were just having a bad day. But Father help us in those real offenses that really have affected us deeply, help us to be able to learn the ability to win at the battle of forgiveness. Help us to learn how to take it, accept the fact that yes we are the ones who is going to have to accept the loss and we are going to lay it down, and we are going to put it aside and not count it against that person. We are not going to blame that person any longer for our awful life. All of the pain that they have caused us, we are going to let it go and allow you to heal us of it. And Father I also know that this is an act of our will. Not a matter of our emotions, it is not like we are going to wait long enough for the sin to subside or the offense to subside. We don't feel so bad anymore now we have forgive, we are not going to make them pay for it. We are going to allow you in our hearts to give us the ability to forgive, just as you give us the ability to love. You said we love because you first loved us, Jesus said as I have forgiven you, you forgive your neighbor. Father help us to win at the battle of
forgiveness.

In Jesus Name we pray. Amen.

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